NO BRAINER

funny secret

2007-03-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

bang zoom

2007-02-09T03:15:00.001-08:00

i wish i was wrong

2007-01-17T12:53:00.000-08:00

we found a basement that i didn't know i had.

and an ewok village!

brass tacks

2006-10-19T22:24:00.000-07:00

i went to the museum one time

i'm not sure why these were on display. this one has eddie murphy on it.

i hear it in my head real low

2006-09-24T12:17:00.000-07:00

no qualms

2006-09-23T17:43:00.000-07:00

if you saw this guy without his camera, wouldn't you just assume he's a photographer? he's got the whole uniform.

what a weird place to take wedding pictures

Gudrun, Bjarte and Jenny, my new roomates and their friend

hairdresser on fire

2006-08-23T16:43:00.000-07:00

these people had some dog teeth..

so let it out & let it in

2006-07-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

kevin cut his finger with a sharp knife

nothing more than something they invest in

2006-06-28T17:50:00.000-07:00

tennis anyone?

2006-06-27T15:39:00.000-07:00

pepperette

2006-06-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

busted!

best behavior

2006-06-08T14:55:00.000-07:00

birds flying higher in a sky more blue

2006-06-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

never stop

2006-06-06T20:30:00.000-07:00

a haha ha

buried with a rubik's cube

2006-06-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

no means no

2006-06-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

the evil legal eagles, oh!

2006-05-04T22:39:00.000-07:00

one bird was trying to escape while the others kept a lookout

murderers of the real

2006-05-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

my roomate's dance thing

a destiny of inertia for a saturated world

2006-05-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

all of this will end so sing it now

2006-04-26T00:29:00.000-07:00

so swoon baby, starry night

2006-04-23T18:55:00.001-07:00

most of the time i'm halfways content

2006-04-07T14:53:00.000-07:00

ready, aim, fire.

2006-04-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

this & that

2006-03-25T14:42:00.000-08:00

nameless dread

2006-03-25T14:22:00.000-08:00

we all get paid, and some get faith before they die.

a tension

2006-01-31T18:34:00.000-08:00

the horror!

2006-01-07T12:13:00.000-08:00

new years evil

we were all so pumped for the new year of our lord to begin. 2006 is going to be fucking great!!

One More Chance by Notorious B.I.G.
Translated from ebonics to standard English (not by me)

As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and whores. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelry.

I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently, women enjoy this also because they become sexually aroused when they see me driving. Oddly enough, when I visit the Native American reservations, some of the more sexually promiscuous Indian women attempt to seduce me in their homes. Their intent is to divest me of my earnings. Such actions are unacceptable.

Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my weapons. I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged in violent sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my associates, the Junior Mafia. I'm having some difficulty understanding why you refuse to approach me. I am attempting to make eye contact with you through my expensive glasses, and as soon as you respond with a smile, I will approach you.

I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe and jewelry, then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars. This is more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse with me. I am able to insert my penis further into you when I enter you from behind. Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I understand this to be a problem with your current sexual partner. He needn't be concerned about your whereabouts. Please phone him and inform him that you won't be home for a while. By the way, please sing the chorus of the song for me also.

Your current love interest no longer wishes to hear your fabrications about the length of your member. After I had sexual intercourse with your woman, she became enlightened as to the proper way it is supposed to be performed; violently and immorally. It would be in your best interest to keep your woman away from me as my sexual prowess is very strong. If you are unconvinced, ask Puff Daddy.

Despite the fact that you attempted to win her at her doorstep with bags full of expensive clothes and a car (the lower end model Mercedes Benz which you financed by signing over your current vehicle) containing an expensive stereo and a cellular phone, your woman has contacted me through my pager indicating that we should rendezvous at midnight.

You, on the other hand, jump from job to job, barely able to maintain payments on the Mercedes Benz you purchased for your woman. Meanwhile, I continue to engage in sexual intercourse and commit lewd osculatory acts with your women. My only remaining option is to request that they leave my home and return to you because I have reached orgasm and no longer have a need for their presence.

The ultimate decision rests with you. Whom do you choose as your sexual partner. I can take you on cruises around the world. I will dress you in the finest jewelry and footwear. You will be envied by women worldwide in your fine clothes and jewelry. There is a special place in my heart for beautiful women. I will defeat your man in an altercation because he is effeminate.

You will be dressed in finest clothes on the runways of Paris. I will fly you to every state to shop for fine clothes and jewelry. You will enjoy sexual intercourse with me and your man will be forced to pleasure himself through manual stimulation. What a life! I'll return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o'clock flight. The timing is perfect because I have scheduled a date with a second woman who arrives at the same gate at 9 o'clock. I'll seduce her in the same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive reflection of my hometown. Not only am I a sexually deviant, misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the board of directors of the organization that governs others of my kind.

by plane or by boat

2006-01-06T12:42:00.002-08:00

steve gets really into it when he smokes. it looks like he's playing the saxophone

happy holidays

pumpkin seeds

2006-01-05T20:04:00.000-08:00

those are swans

empty houses are still fun

this was on christmas eve. we were all thinking about presents

we named a summer camp for you

2006-01-04T23:00:00.000-08:00

the infamous bust

FUCK

...in all sorts of ways

2006-01-04T20:19:00.000-08:00

this guy was really drunk

this ones mine

dance, dance

2005-12-06T09:58:00.000-08:00

its hard to see but theres a fake guy and a fake dog behing the tarp. pretty tricky!

i have nothing to say and i'm saying it

2005-11-23T16:37:00.000-08:00

breakfast of champions

i went to an italian restaurant with my uncle and my cousin. my pasta came with pasta on the side.

burning of the midnight lamp

2005-10-28T19:09:00.000-07:00

art garfunkel

2005-10-27T13:33:00.000-07:00

it's a sight to behold

2005-10-14T23:22:00.000-07:00

dave likes to climb things

all i have to do is dream

2005-10-14T23:11:00.000-07:00

lightning frightening

2005-10-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

marsh party, sunday edition

more people showed up this time

we all gave thanks... for marsh parties!

i'm glad i have pictures of this because i don't think anyone would beleive that it actually happened

i hope he washed his hands

becca's got moves you've never seen

play the clash!

i saw the first smashed pumpkin of fall

go home, get down

2005-10-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

it's vogue

"get the fuck away from me"

"seriously, fuck off"

let me die in my footsteps

2005-10-12T19:12:00.000-07:00

more pictures from saturday... let the good times roll

kaydi was sick and lying down in the dark. i stepped on her by accident

i think i got puke on my slacks

around here people started getting annoyed with all the pictures

i'm a science student

2005-10-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

marsh party number one

identity is an illusion

2005-10-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

i yam what i yam.

candy all over

2005-09-29T23:09:00.000-07:00

guess what? i'm in new york city.
there's these cool taxis all over the place that have "nyc taxi" written on the door

next stop foam party

too bad foam ruins cameras, those would have been some funny pictures.

boob tube

2005-09-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

six six six, the number of the beast

2005-09-29T22:16:00.000-07:00

golly

t-rex

nosy neighbors

beer goggles

which one of you fuckers ate the last english muffin?

i'm running out of ethnic friends

2005-09-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

hubba hubba

travis looks bored because our food took fucking forever. wimpy's: why open a diner if you hate serving people food so much?

cory got fries instead of onion rings and the waitress was like "uhhh, i'll see if they'll fix it. you have to be careful when you make your order." what?

maybe they were upset because they didn't like our jukebox selections. there was a song in there called "tear in my beer"

try a little tenderness

2005-09-29T20:57:00.000-07:00

that bag contains one sweet-ass bong

fun at t-man's, just like the good ol' days

secrets are being told at my expense in this picture

plutonium powder

i call this one "celebration"

henry the janitor

2005-09-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

cory took these, i was too scared

getting your picture taken is bad enough when you're not scraping gum out of the carpet.

then what happened?

2005-09-29T08:54:00.000-07:00

lonely bike

we found a swing in an alley

lord jesus christ, have mercy on me

2005-09-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

it was really nice out

like a drug

2005-09-18T16:39:00.000-07:00

bee's knees

2005-09-10T15:01:00.000-07:00

classes started this week. this guy was signing everything the professor said, even the really irrelevant stuff.

when the professor announced that he was "um, a gay male" this dude's face turned red.

cool lighter

day one, tons o fun

2005-09-04T19:24:00.000-07:00

did you know if you take random photos of your tv screen they look kinda artsy and cool?

you can't even aim for anything really... just take a bunch and delete the blurry ones

chicky chow mein